I am quickly approaching the end of this chapter and so far it is feeling like it will be quite the rocky ending. Things are getting messy and I can feel myself ebbing away into runner mode.
As of today, I have….23 days until move in, assuming both that my math is correct and that there are indeed 31 days in July.
23 days until I move in,
15 days left of work.
12 days until the friends start school. Particularly a special friend.
Now, when we think of it in terms of days, it seems pretty long but it really isn’t. Once school starts, the school friends won’t really be able to hang out much before I leave, which pretty much leaves that 12 days. 12 days to see everyone who wants to see me/everyone I want to see before I go. That is not working out very well for me, especially since it turns out most everyone is available on the exact same night and no one is available on any other night…that or they have better things to do. Ridiculous, right?
I guess you can’t really do much to help your schedule, so I don’t actually blame anyone. The helplessness does not make it any less inconvenient though.
For the past week, the girlfriend (or rather now the ex) has been getting more distant herself. Basically, I am not even gone yet but I feel as though I might as well be to her. I actually do not think this is a conscious thing, but more of a result of her having so many other things going on. The problem with it from my view though is all that other stuff will remain here to deal with. I was hoping to enjoy my last month and have the time of my life, guess that is not how the picture is drawn.
Same old issues with the best friend, won’t see her again before I leave, I’m almost positive.
Really, I’m wanting to not care and be self destructive. Say forget it all, spend a lot of money, do a lot of chilling, drop into my haunted bunk. I am going to not though just because I know it is the worst option. I really just feel like retreating.
You know what? I don’t feel like anything.
See ya.



