Nebraska day one
Not sure when the last time I posted was, I’m sure its been a while. I’m getting a little irresponsible with this whole posting thing. Not quite as much motivation as I used to have.
But that is a non-issue. Right now I’m laying in bed in a hotel room, listening to Doolittle since I am loving the album as Rock Band DLC, I want to get more familiar with it, each track is a little miracle to me. I’ll eventually have to check out more by The Pixies. Great band 
Meanwhile, the trip…eh, I managed to sleep through 95% of the car ride, no joke. That was from about 9 Friday night to about 12:30 this afternoon where we finally reached the hotel here…since then I have been killing time playing PS3 and text messaging. It’s about 12:30 now so I’ve killed 12 hours that way…we’re leaving Tuesday night
So that means I just need to survive tomorrow (Sunday) and Monday. I would think I can handle this with the aid of Raven (I named my PS3 that a few weeks ago) and Rock Band. Just wish I had the balls to sing in the hotel..or if I just had a Rock Band drumset…playing just guitar can get unfulfilling. I keep creating new characters, I have guitarists/bassists but no drummers. Massive grr. Its fine though. IF my band director compromises I’ll have a job soon anyway.
I need a good RPG preferably something I’ve never played…or Grandia II, that was the greatest game ever.
Oh, and I got an inspiring comment earlier about how cool people will stop by and read and I won’t be alone.
Oddly enough, between Doolittle and this post I don’t feel alone at all right now. I do kinda wish I had a sweetheart here though, and some juice…thats what I’ve been in the mood for lately: love and juice. Odd? I would think so. But I haven’t had juice in days, and girls have been either difficult or confusing.
Not too sure when or where I should end this post. Don’t really think I have much more to say but I’m not quite ready to sleep yet. Mainly because I don’t want to wake up without a pretty face to make me smile. Or even some I love you messages would probably do the job but I’m not expecting any of those.
As of late, I’m incredibly stressed, not too sure why. I guess just life. Sleep deprivation and spending time with friends has been both a problem and solution I guess. Depends on who I’m with and why I haven’t slept. Basically I need some massive happy pills until my mind gets back on track. I’m to the point that I can’t even get comfortable. But at least I have my PS3 with me. I really need to buy something….generally new stuff makes me feel better for a while
I think it gives hope that things will change and not always be the same. Thats something I really need to know right now because it seems like most of what happens is the same stuff with different people.
Or some of the same stuff with the same people. Repetitive cycling, blah blah. Personally I’m tired of the crap and the games, tired of acting like kids, tired of everything. I wish everyone would just live up to their minds full potential and quit acting like tools. Because really whats fulfilling about pretending we’re idiots? and acting like being negative and pessimistic about everything is really the way to go?
Bad stuff happens, sure. Sometimes luck seems horrible but should we really keep being negative because of that?
No, things change if you’re willing to let them.
I feel like it’s happening again. Like I’m growing while everyone around me appears to be stagnant, refusing to allow themselves to grow up and/or develop. In the past month or so, there has been one person that I’ve had intelligent conversation with and this time it wasn’t HER
Speaking of her, she’s slipping away because she’s afraid. Why do our negative feelings make our decisions? We need to be running off of hope and determination. Get up off our asses and quit being so damn passive.
Now I’m starting to speak to myself as well. I’ve undoubtedly started becoming a passenger in life again. But I need to grab onto that limb that no one else is reaching for. I have to be strong and real if I expect anyone else to.
Why should anyone else drop their BS of I won’t drop my own. Once again, guess I got caught up in everyone’s negative vibes and lost myself. I can’t stand it when that happens. I feel like I failed myself.
But I understand everyone makes mistakes, it’s how we respond to them that is important. So I guess blogging tonight has done me a lot of good.
Perhaps I’ll quit being so worried and take some chances, quit being a passenger. That would be wonderful. Here’s hoping I have the strength to do it.
Leave a Reply