Nebraska day 3: I Bleed.
As loud as hell, a ringing bell…
I’ve definitely been here too long and dad wants to stay longer, I’m thinking selfish. Hopefully others who oppose the idea will speak up, but I doubt it.
Mom’s too cowardly to broadcast her opinion. She would rather live simply and oppressed, I suppose that is what aging truly does to you. But whatever I guess. The way I see it, I’mvold enough, responsible enough, and mature enough that I should have been able to make the decision not to come on my own. But whatever.
On top of that, I’m rather pissed. I can’t tell what I dislike more, being alone, or being around people. I can’t stand being surrounded by tools, but by myself all I can do is think and realize how much of a waste this trip has been.
I finished reading Life As We Knew It today…that leaves PS3 for tomorrow…no way in hell I am staying another day after that…I don’t like limited Rock Band where I have to do quiet vocals and can only otherwise play guitar by myself.
I don’t like being unable to express myself without family making absurd assumptions and judgements
Speaking of Rock Band, kinda angered by the Rock Band 2 timed 360 exclusive thing…but whatever, at least my DLC will work whenever I finally get the game…
Goodness I need someone to hold me right now. Or really I just need to be around real people, I need stimulation. I’ve got another stress/depression headache…or really I’m almost positive I’m just tired and dehydrated…haven’t had water in a while…..
My band director needs to e-mail me back.
This whole stream of consciousness thing is going well aside from the whole unhappiness thing….
I just want to get home…as much as I hate Gadsen, and although I pity most people there, at least there are people who care for me there, people who know I exist, some of them even miss me supposedly…I haven’t hugged anyone since Thursday, thats too long…I need to take a certain girl into my arms and crush her with my love…
This whole trip I haven’t even glimpsed a person my age and for once I didn’t spend a majority of my time in the hotel room while everyone else was gone. Just proof I don’t need to be here…
It’s stuff like this that causes me to despise my parents, how can they force me to go out of state when they don’t even control what hours I leave or return when we’re at home? I’m fucking old enough to take care of myself for a few days. In fact I did it LAST YEAR before I was driving for three days…
I wish dad wasn’t such a tool…I wish he thought logically and about more than his own desires…
Call me a hypocrite for only thinking about me, but what can I say? I’m one of an increasingly diminishing (oxymoron) number of people whose intellect I respect.
Anyways, head’s killing me. I’m gonna sleep.
CUT MY WINGS OFF/SUFFOCATE ME
Leave a Reply